Wishing

I've found myself wishing this time away.  I've been wishing my sweet little boys current stages away.  Bowan is just 9 months old & Breck is just shy of three years.  But, I've been here before.  I know how fleeting it is.  I know my little boys will never be this little again.  I know I will be wishing to be back here. 

I need to be honest with myself.  It's not that I don't love the stages my two boys are in.  I love that Breck communicates so clearly.  Exactly what he wants.  Every time.  I love that Bowan is exploring his world.  I love that Breck chooses the most precious things to pray for.  I absolutely love Bowan's huge laugh when we play peek-a-boo.  Breck's creativity blows my mind when he finds yet another new way to turn something into a garbage truck.  Bowan's newly discovered dance skills are completely adorable.

But, honestly this time is just hard for me.  Bowan turns everything into a chocking hazard.  When he can't find the tiniest non-edible treasure from the carpet to chew on, he tries to gnaw off the paint on the window sill.  Yesterday, he pulled himself up onto the trash can & bit off a piece of the plastic bag.  Um, 1/3 of an inch of plastic bag peeks out from the huge stainless steel container. Yet, he still finds a way to turn that into a chocking hazard.  I'm trying to recognize that it's actually pretty trying for me to keep Bowan alive & safe during the day.  Even in a baby-proofed house.  I'm trying to tell myself it's ok.  I'm trying to show myself the grace I so desperately strive to show my boys.  Really, I'm just wishing that I can treasure these moments, these lessons, these stages.  Because, we are making some beautiful memories.